our twenty week ultrasound

I was so excited for our twenty week ultrasound! I remember making the appointment and thinking it would feel like forever until it arrived. Seth and I have chosen to announce our babe's gender at a small reveal party this weekend, but also decided to find out at our ultrasound. The butterflies were thick!

As we pulled into our parking spot I said a quick prayer– mindful that ultrasounds can be scary experiences, all the "what-ifs." One of the most challenging parts of my pregnancy has been surrendering to God, and trying my best NOT to worry. I feel like I have grown leaps and bounds in my ability to hold things with an open palm, but it's a daily exercise I have to be mindful of. 

We arrived a bit early, settling in after checking in… waiting for my name to be called. I spent the moments running around the waiting room taking photos. Seth just laughed. He knows I am weird.  

Pretty soon my name was called and we headed back into the quiet, dark room with our very kind and personable tech. A glob of gel, the wand, and a wosh then we saw our babe. 

Two arms, two legs, four chambers in a heart, a little brain, ears, eyes, a mouth. A precious, curled up little body that is so much more person-like than our first glimpse that we had at 8 weeks. A perfectly healthy little babe. 

We learned the gender, which felt surprising and not surprising all at once. And that our little one is in the 67% percentile for weight. 

Then, our tech decided to do a second internal ultrasound to take a closer look at where my placenta was lying. I'm not going to say I was calm, because of course I felt scared. 

She did notice something: 

Essentially, I have what is called a low-lying placenta, meaning it sits a little closer to my cervix than what is ideal. It's fairly common and in most cases resolves itself before 32 weeks. I'd never heard of it before, but did know about a condition called placenta previa. I'll be back in a number of weeks for another ultrasound, while it feels a little scary I have an overwhelming sense of peace.

Thankfully we had a midwife appointment right afterward where most of my anxieties were calmed 😉 Then, yesterday, after reading my ultrasound report my midwife {who went above and beyond getting the data faster by calling directly– hooray for excellent, personable care!} she called and talked me through the details. It's much less scary than I perceived, I won't end up with previa– placentas can only move up, and my placenta only has .6cm to move. In all our tech's experiences doing ultrasounds and my midwife's experience caring for mamas and babies neither had seen it not resolve itself.

I am so hopeful and prayerful that it will, and I welcome your prayers, too. 

Of course this isn't without a few restrictions. I'm being placed on what's called "pelvic rest" {I'll let you google that ;)} and I'm no longer able to lift anything heavier than a small bag of groceries. The risk is that I could end up hemorrhaging, which of course, is scary. 

In the early hours of the morning the following day I woke up with this psalm in my head. I'm leaning into it as I wait the coming weeks until my next ultrasound: 

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul; He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever." -Psalm 23

I love this little baby so much already it's wild. I cannot wait to meet him/her: