{photos, taken nearly one year apart, left by Kimi Coopet & right by Mara Oakvik}
Tuesday was my 36-week midwife appointment and it went very well. My midwife ended up checking me and I’m already at a two {nearly three} cm mark and babe’s head is super low and she could feel it! Ahhh!
Numbers don’t mean too much, but I can’t help but feel encouraged and excited. After my visit, I took Astro on a short walk around North Minneapolis, ran some errands, and came home. Seth and I got ready quickly for an evening birthday celebration for Miles that was positively lovely and included a really decadent chocolate cake.
This morning I’m thinking about all the ways in which my life, our lives, have changed so quickly in a short period of time. Sometimes Seth and I joke that we’ve done things in a majorly condensed way. What most couples do in five years we’ve done in one. It’s certainly not for everyone, but I have found that God’s plan and timing is a curious thing– a concept I fretted with until recently.
One year ago I was so emotionally frustrated, worried, and fearful. I was also doing incredibly well business wise, growing in huge ways, and encountering opportunities for travel, work, and life that I didn’t think were possible. There was a dichotomy, but the sadness over my personal life was absolutely present. There were multiple reasons for this, but so very much of it centered around the disconnect between my reality and what I thought was my life’s purpose. I had a difficult time believing God would deliver me from my present season. Things felt so stuck.
At my thirtieth birthday celebration, which was beautiful and fun, I remember feeling happy and grateful, but also disappointed and confused. Again, that dichotomy. I had also ended an on-again-off-again relationship with a person who refused to give me what I needed.
Meeting and falling in love with Seth was a refreshing surprise. I was overjoyed to find someone who I shared so many values and dreams. No one’s relationship is perfect, of course, but I have felt an overwhelming sense of peace and stillness in this place. I am grateful for him each and every day. We are both so very excited for this babe to arrive and these truly are the happiest days of my life.
A year ago I was living in my darling, beloved {but also sometimes roach infested} art deco St. Paul apartment, wondering if I would ever be a mother, or if my life would remain stagnant. Today, I’m back in Minneapolis {which sometimes feels surreal and funny, I love it here!} waiting for a our daughter to arrive any day now.
I don’t claim to know the mystery around God and His timing, but I do know that He is good and He’s always been, and that truly “every good and perfect gift {no matter the timing, if it’s in our plans, if it’s a ‘surprise’…} is from above” -James 1:17. I pray I can teach this to our babe.
There are so many complicated experiences in life– some sweet and some bitter, but I will tell you, feeling like you’re entering into your God-given purpose is up there. I am so grateful, and I am thinking that the best is still yet to come. So much can change in a year.
I offer this simply as encouragement to others. There is a beauty and goodness that comes with the passing of time, it is one of our greatest gifts. No matter what you are waiting for or praying for, know that each season has something powerful to teach you.
