my second baby newborn hacks

I’ve been thinking through writing a post like this for a while now, all about what has helped me this time around with postpartum. I’m still in what people like to call “the four trimester,” but we’re about halfway through that and some of the fog is starting to lift– or maybe I’m just getting a break from it.

Priscilla’s early days feel so far away, but after having Langston, I started to remember so much about her newborn days. Truly, as much as I felt prepared for motherhood (babysitting, working at a daycare in the infant room, nannying for two infants) I in many ways felt like I had been hit by a train when we brought Cilla home from the birth center. I remember feeling so intimidated by her, and I was the one who at the end of the day was supposed to calm and know her “best.” In hindsight, I realized I had some anxiety: I could rarely nap, would wake up in the night when she was still sleeping, felt like I couldn’t catch my breath most days, and didn’t feel as connected as I had hoped to be to this new role. Things evened themselves out around 4/5 months when we started doing more sleep training.

This time, I was determined to have a better experience and truly “love” the newborn days. We are doing our best, and have had some great days and hard ones, but I have to say that overall it has been a much smoother experience. I credit this to a few things:

Lay the foundation for great sleep | As we prepared for Langston’s arrival I decided to take a newborn sleep class through Taking Cara Babies. I cannot recommend this course enough. I absolutely believe it to be essential to any parent-to-be. It’s a no cry approach and is truly about laying a healthy sleep foundation. This isn’t sponsored in any way, but this has been of huge help for me. You can find info on it here. Others seem to really love BabyWise, and I just downloaded their book to see if it resonates.

On a “normal” {because every night is still an adventure} night for Langston his sleep cycle looks like this:

9pm | diaper, pajamas, nursing in our bed

9:30pm | falls asleep independently, sometimes with some help, in his bassinet

1:30am | wakes up and eats, right back to bed

4am | wakes up and eats, right back to bed

7am | up for the day

During the day he does mostly 1.5-2 hour naps. I do wake him if he goes past two hours, but that’s pretty rare. He loves to nap in his crib! I started this right away to avoid the bassinet-to-crib transition drama that can happen sometimes. I watch his wake window pretty closely and he seems ready for rest at exactly 1.5 hours. We also follow the wake-eat-sleep model.

Honestly, I am a big believer in sleep training. I consider it to be about teaching your child the skill of great sleep! I didn’t want Cilla still sleeping in our bed once LJ arrived so it was critical for me to teach her to sleep well, on her own, as an infant. We all need our rest! I find no solace or victory in claiming exhaustion as a badge of honor.

Setting {even} better boundaries for postpartum | I’m now that person that says “no,” quite a bit. I didn’t get out of my bed much for the first two weeks per the recommendation of my midwives. I have so much to say about this, but to keep it short and sweet, I firmly believe the first several weeks need to be for the family to really settle into their new normal. We had just a few visitors and those were immediate family or dear friends.

Hatch Nightlight | It’s worth the cost, so much so that we now have two. I love that I can program it from my phone, turn it up very loud, and use it as a nightlight. We have one set up in our room since LJ stills sleeps the night in his bassinet and another in his nursery where he has started to take naps during the day. Eventually I plan on using them as “when to wake” lights for both kiddos.

Haakaa & Spectra Pump | I was cautious to try the Haakaa when I had Cilla {did I really need one more thing?}, but looking back I wish I would have. Even just a few weeks into LJ being here, I have a pretty generous stash just from using the Hakka. It’s easy, I usually use it 1-2 times per day especially in the am and love how it is so simple. I’m also loving my Spectra pump. Presently, I pump 2-3 times per week and will decrease over time. It’s a total workhorse and more efficient than my Medela pump.

Introduce a bottle at 4 weeks | I was so nervous about LJ trying a bottle since Cilla didn’t like hers. Thankfully he took to it well and so we’ve been giving him a bottle 2-3 times a week so he doesn’t forget. We’re using the Medela bottles and I just give him milk cold. I suspected he’d take to a bottle well since he is great with a pacifier.

Ask for help | We had friends bring us meals, our babysitter helps out a few mornings a week with Cilla, and my mom stayed over for a few days after LJ was born and took her on a fun Cilla-grandma adventure-sleep-over for a few days afterward. I wish I would have asked for help the first time, and am so glad I set up help this time. I am someone who takes so much pride in doing it “all,” but have found that it’s healthy to ask for help.

The beauty of being seasoned | I know that the sleepless nights will pass, that I won’t be nursing 800 times a day, that I’ll be able to carve out some me time someday. This has all been so encouraging while in the trenches of the newborn days. Many people shared that when I had my second that I would struggle most with Cilla and not LJ. I have found that to be very true, she is a busy and active toddler and keeping up with her is the most work– especially without great sleep. I am trying to have grace for her, but some days are hard. 18 months-2.5 is my least favorite age for kiddos, and while I adore my children, toddlers are hard even when they’re yours 😉